We now have research that "proves" without a doubt what adoptees and birthparents have known for ages.
Several researchers have studied these theories and in every case, indications are that infants separated
from thier birth parents at birth suffer trauma and broken bonds.
Noted researcher and author of "The Secret Life of the Unborn Child", Dr. Thomas Verney, and his associate
Dr. Brian Sapp, have done some amazing research on prenatal development and found ingenious ways to test
the cognitive and emotional responses of unborn children. He has found that pre- born infants are able to
recognize their mother's voices in utero, and have a distinct preference for them after birth. They can detect
sounds, and emotional tone by 6 mos gestation if not before. They can learn and will make attempts to
influence their mother's behaviors. He spoke to an Adoptive Families of America audience about his methods
and findings and their implications for adoptive families.
During his presentation he stated:
"The importance of these findings cannot be over-stressed. It used to be thought that an infant adopted at birth
"never even knew his birth mother". We now know this is not true. He has a 9 month history with her, in which
bonding has likely taken place, and in which most certainly he has become accustomed to her sound, smell,
chemistry and interaction with him. There is no doubt that when that child is born and he or she is put to live
with someone else, it is as if you and I from one moment to the next were placed on the moon. It's just a total,
total separation from everything that you had ever known. This is a tremendous trauma. And then, if they are
unlucky enough to have multiple care givers, in other words, if they are unlucky enough to have two or three
foster homes and then finally come into an adoptive family, by that time, they have been through hell. And to
pretend that things are otherwise is just being awfully unrealistic. We might as well face the facts and try to
overcome them rather than play ostrich hide our head in the sand."
(An audio-tape recording of Dr. Verney's talk is available from AFA at 612-535-4829. The title to ask for is "Pre
and Perinatal Perspectives of Adoption" by Thomas Verney.)
Birth parents and adoptees who for years have been telling us about the bond they feel with each other, now
have scientific explanations and validation for those feelings. Searchers who might once have found it hard to
explain their overwhelming determination to find some meaning in their complusion to 'find' now have a basis
for understanding their deep and heartfelt emotions.
Adoptive parents need not feel threatened by this information, as much as they must be made aware of and
accept it as a reality of adoption. Their support and understanding is crucial in helping thier child cope with the
loss of the first important people in their lives.
When we accept that all adopted children have suffered trauma and loss and must be taught how to grieve and
resolve that loss, we can then begin to integrate and use that knowlege to enhance our family systems.
"To Remember Is Painful To Forget Is Impossible."
~Maureen Connelly
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